Andrew Benton

What to Know Before You Go on That Cruise

Oct 15 at 7:07am by Andrew Benton

Are you going on a cruise this summer, or thinking about going on one? I just got back from mine, and it was a blast! I had little to no bad experiences, and I thought I’d share some of the information I collected, and some I wish I’d have known prior to going. This guide is based on my experience with Carnival Cruise Lines, so it may be slightly different with other lines, but I doubt that it’s too different. If you have any questions, you can feel free to contact me, I’m a pretty nice guy.

Quick Tips

While I left out some things to do with locations, I visited Costa Maya, Mexico, Ochos Rios, Jamaica, and the Cayman Islands. If you have any questions about any of those places, let me know. Here are some quick tips to help you out. I go into detail on these later in the article, but here are the important points.

• Get to the dock with plenty of time to spare, you’ll be in lines for eternity.
• Don’t bring alcohol in your carry-on bag, they’ll confiscate it.
• Eat as much as you want, it’s free, and make sure you go to your Dinner; it’s the best food on the boat.
• Know that soft-drinks aren’t free, so be prepared to pay for them (more than $1/can).
• Know that alcohol is also expensive, budget accordingly.
• Attend or watch the Debarkation video, it talks about what Customs allows, and what you cannot bring in the country.
• You should tip your staff well, they usually automatically include a tip on your bill, but it’s customary to give extra because they really go above and beyond expectations.

What to expect when you get to the dock

When you arrive at the docks (I left from Miami, FL), don’t expect to walk directly onto a boat. My experience was different, but I’m guessing not that unfamiliar to most. When I arrived it was pouring rain, and the previous passengers were getting off the ship, as we were trying to get on. First thing to know is that there is no real place to “check your bags”, they just have these huge metal containers, and you throw them on, find someone who is staff (they are everywhere), and make sure you’re in the right area for your cruise ship.

Once you put your luggage in one of the containers to be loaded onto the ship, you go in to check in. This is where you’ll need your tickets, and either a Passport or a Photo ID and a birth certificate with a raised seal. This part doesn’t take too long, and expect a security checkpoint.

After you go through this checkpoint, you wait in line to get your card you use on the ship. This card will be used for everything on the ship; from getting into your room, to ordering food, to paying for gifts in the gift shop. This line I found to be the longest, since you have to give them a card to use to charge to. You can use either a Credit/Debit card, or prepay on your card. Anyway you do it; it’s pretty simple at the end, so use whatever is most convenient. I used my Debit card, quick and painless. After this, you just wait in line to have your ID and Passport/Birth Certificate checked once more, then guess what? You’re on the ship.

What to do when you get on the ship

This part is kind of self-explanatory, but when I first got on the ship, you expect to get orders or instructions, nope. Just go check into your room, walk around the ship, and start enjoying yourself. Don’t get too enthralled, however, because the most boring part of the cruise is upon you.

The safety drill (a.k.a. the most boring, crowded, useless thing ever)

Now I’m not saying its useless, because you get to see where the rescue boats are, but they make you stand in little painted off areas, with life jackets on, and watch them explain that if the ship was going down, that you have to stay single file, calm, and get on the boats. Sorry, but it will never, ever work like that. Oh well, the Coast Guard requires them to do it.

The Food

This is one thing I still have a hard time getting over. The amount of food you will consume on your cruise will disgust you. Let me reiterate. You eat so much food that you eat and eat, then just because it’s free, you eat some more. And it’s all usually really, really good. Make sure you go to your scheduled dinner time, because that is the best food on the whole cruise. I’m not talking normal restaurant food, but rather things like Veal, Crab Legs, Lobster Tails, NY Steak, basically anything you would get at a top tier restaurant for $50+, you get at dinner, and you can have as much as you want. They also have absolutely killer desserts, trust me, you’ll be ordering 2 per meal by the end of the week.

The Alcohol

Let me warn you, alcohol on the boat is pretty expensive, don’t expect to get anything for less than $5. On my cruise, the cheapest thing you could get was a Coors Lite can, and they include 15% gratuity, taking it to ~$5 per beer. That is the low-end. Pina Coladas and Daiquiris are usually at least $9, and if you’re a big drinker with special tastes, expect a big bill. I found that the best thing to do, is if the countries you visit allow it, is to buy liquor there and put it on you carry-on and bring it back on the ship.

I’m not sure what Cruise lines rules are about bringing alcohol on the ship are, but I’ll share a story. When I went, I had two bottles of liquor in my checked bag. In the line to get on the ship, a couple guys behind me had put liquor in their carry-ons, and it was all confiscated. Lesson? If you’re going to do it, put it in your check baggage, much less likely to get searched, and you can save serious money on the ship.

Another cool thing about the ship is that buying liquor is tax and duty free on the ship, you can get some really good deals, but they usually won’t let you have the alcohol until your last day, still a good bargain either way.

The Entertainment

I found the entertainment to be decent on my ship. They had a few musical shows that were nothing to write home about. The real gems here were the Comedy shows that were on every other night at midnight. Very raunchy stuff, but really worth it, and they were good comedians. Also, another big hot spot was the dance club (which is also nothing special), and the karaoke bar. Unfortunately on our ship, the hot tubs always closed at Midnight.. just when you need them the most.

Conclusion

While I’m sure every single person will have a different experience, I think you’ll have a great time on your cruise. Take my points, apply them, and learn some stuff on your own. It’s a vacation, treat it like one. Do something you’ve never done before, explore different countries, and let me know if I’ve been of any help. Happy Cruising!